I am an emotional wreck

It sounds so dramatic when I write it down, but there it is. I'm preparing to visit my dying mother.

Looking back, her health has been in a slow decline for a while now. Our weekly Skype calls would see her becoming...smaller.

She's been living with my sister on-and-off during the pandemic. With her being at-risk it was just easier than everyone trying to navigate the sporadic isolation rules over in the UK. She's there full-time now.

My sister called on Friday. She sat with a Palliative Care Nurse and had to discuss a DNR notice for Mum. In case she comes down one morning and she's not responsive.

I vividly remember getting a call 20 years ago, on Boxing Day. My Dad was failing fast. We booked a flight and left that night. I got the second call while in the car picking us up at Gatwick. Too late. He'd died while we were flying.

Next week I board a plane, with Josh, to visit the UK.